The Beginning

I love to write, but for some unknown reason I have the uncontrollable urge to write when I am depressed, down or upset. When I am happy, in a good mood or everything seems to be going good, the words dont come.
So the title - because that is what I write about - my life. I am a stay at home mom with two teenage daughters. My husband is a truck driver which allows me to stay at home.
My family is my life. My eldest daughter used to be a cheerleader, and injury and a Nazi coach have influenced her to put that aside. My youngest is a travel softball player. Weve been on the same team for going on our third year. She is a pitcher and is really good. So my hobbies, hmmm, I like to read, I like to work in the yard and my family.
I had a blog but it accidentally got erased by my youngest daughter - oh well.
To me, I am an average person, nothing spectacular. I wouldnt turn your head, but if you met me, you would remember me. I am very friendly, what you see is what you get. I dont put up with crap or drama. I've had my fill of that and life is too short to put up with it. Everything I have or will ever have is because of God. I know that no matter what comes my way, God will see us through.
I attend church on average three times a week - twice on Sunday and then again Wednesday night. I love learning about the Bible, it never ceases to amaze me. I love Bible trivia, weird I know.
So what is so special about this post - maybe it was my weekend. Well, my weekends typically start on Thursday because that is pay day and that is when I start planning the weekend.
More information on me - I am over weight, obese. I hate it more than most will ever know. I rarely look at myself in the mirror and when I do, I dont actually look at myself. Clothes shopping is hell for me. So Friday when we went dress shopping for Easter, something snapped in me. It is probably the closest I have been to a panic attack. Another tid bit - I rarely cry, but Friday, I cried in public several times. Not quiet tears - sobs. At that point I started hating myself, my body, myself.
We bought the girls dresses and all I picked out was a blouse. We then looked for shoes, I found some tennis shoes. Still I was not out of my funk. We ate lunch, I cried more.
Then I did what I had done before - I returned everything I had bought for me.